many important things to settle tml, my supposedly last day. darn. this whole week is just beyond dreadful, even then it being an understatement of the year. today, as expected was beyond chaotic but in a much greater scale than i thought. Jesus decided to send 2 angels to visit me, even though i was drowning beyond drowning. I've always been rather private about certain things and keep many on a 'need-to-know' basis. I finally broke the news to 2 people today. And somehow they made me feel like i should have done that a long time ago, before i acted so rashly. their support and advice would really have helped. I guess i really did not think over carefully enough. Anyway, now that its established that clearly the most straightforward method can't work, it's time to take it one level higher. I just hope I can catch her early tomorrow morning. urgh im going crazy. cant continue