I should have been an engineer ~ღ
side note though: i always get reminded of this video when i think of engineers. lol.
i am utterly confused. my emotions are like the roller coaster. yuck. that was so cache, i almost puked even thinking and typing that phrase. anyway, i'm too damn pissed to think of a better way to describe how i feel right now. i'm feeling super demoralised and depressed about not finding one, when 'everyone claims' there are so many out there. does the problem lie with the resume, the qualifications, the time sent, the photo, pride or just a bad dose of good, old revenge from lady luck? as much as i want to take my time, i really don't have much time. not with people breathing down my neck about it. i honestly think i have more than enough things on mind than is already necessary. seriously, quit nagging if you all fucking dun have anything constructive to say. i don't need your grandma-style reminders and stupid comments. just bloody keep them to yourselves. i'm not trying to blame anyone for anything. just pointing out that it wouldn't hurt to at least have the decency to cut me some slack. maybe i should just auto-filter away what i deem as nonconstructive criticism, and take with me only the constructive bits. thank God for the select few who cares and really understands. they calm my nerves, lest i turn mental from tolerating all these unnecessary rattle. i get negative vibes and end up falling into a pit; someone comes along and brings me to the light, just so another can come and banish me to the bottom of the sea. see what i mean by 'roller coaster of emotions'. can't get any more rollercoaster-ish than that. then, there's God. no, again, i'm not blaming Him. i'm just very lost and confused about His plan for me. okay, u want to say, no one is clear of that either. yea, i know that. but...urgh. seriously!!!!! when i was beating myself up over my flaws that day, the message i got was "you are perfect as you are." - okay, fine. i understand. then the next day when i was feeling a tad confused. the message i got: God has an important purpose for you, and made everything possible for you to succeed. - uh huh...i can live with that too. BUT, yesterday when i was busy searching, the message i got was: you've been driving yourself too hard lately. @_@ I mean HELLO?! EARTH TO HEAVEN, I AM TOTALLY CONFUSED BY THE SIGNS! ANYway...enough of this negativity for now i guess. i shall cast my worries and frustrations to the wind! (i try)
i question. i ponder. how long is this going to take?
seems almost like eternity. i can't figure out why. *sigh*
is this how it is going to be?
After so much talking with various people today, I've never been more clear of the path that lies ahead. :)
side note though: even the smartest woman can be the biggest fool when blinded by love. *i hope things work out for u, sis* :(
seriously. one of my most non-favourite words, almost to the extent of hate, has to be the word..."REGRET". *sigh. so (x3) unprepared.
With much difficulty, finally finished watching Boys Over Flowers!!!
BERY NICE. oh. why with much difficulty you ask? ashdauhdeywgeyagwekahechinesesubtitlesasifjaifj. lol :X anyway, me thinks me hearts the korean version alot! and if i'm Jan Di, i think i'd choose Ji Hoo. I'm sorry Jun Pyo, but the things u did for Jan Di...not enough leh ;p haha! okie. back to business.
oh ya...almost everyone's been saying that bubear has been putting on a lil. :x guess what was his response? he said...he's so depressed that people say he fat, that he'll continue to eat more. and he said that while munching on biscuits...oh my goodness. lol. need to drag that bear out for some exercise!
how apt. anyway, by sheer chance & luck (i suppose) i got to catch NDP 2009 LIVE@Marina Bay O_O! *yay!* HAHAHAHA. Oh, many many thanks to kind Mr Poh BM =) so yeah, i can FINALLY say i went to NDP before! ;p Alas. Being the 2 toots that we were/are, neither of us brought camera @_@ cos one assumed the other would bring and the other was just happy being there! haha~
Received Lurfu's call from Genting yesterday night =) He wished me Happy Anniversary. Awww...so sweet. Was ecstatic to receive his call~ What a pleasant surprise. He's gonna be back soon..yays!
oh ya, as for the title....ah. im so stuck in this timeless void right now. Having problems moving forward, certainly can't go backwards either. EEk! Anyway, met up with Sihan today =) we were chatting over lunch when she mentioned about her secondary school's 10 yr anniversary alumni dinner. Gosh. Didn't realise that it's almost 10 years since we left secondary school! OH MY GOODNESS. And within that 10 years, so many other frens we knew have changed so much and moved on so much (have steady career, got married etc.) and the both of us? well, still wandering and jobless. *SIGH* COME ON! LEMME MOVE ON ALREADY!!!
the little things in life that make you go =)
dinner = mashed potatoes+portobello mushroom confit+clam&scallop chowder+veggie. *iheartmomscooking*
watching tv non-stop till your eyes go @_@
Happy 2y11m!!! Come back soon ;p
Finally sat down and got that resume done and all the mass mailing! Was searching through my virgin blog (yes, this is not the first!) for remnants of my past employment history. Of course, I couldn't help but read through some of my old entries. Some were funny, other were... how should i put it, childish scribbles. Ha! With a little aLtErNaTe CaPs here and there. Jeez. So annoying to even type that out now. Excruciatingly painful to type and read.
Anyway, I was surprised at how much things have changed since then (2002) till now. Countless things have changed - my blogging style, my thoughts, things i valued, what i found amusing and noteworthy. Most of all, I felt the sting from reading through entries of friendships that were forged then and were now broken or lost for one reason or another. But I guess that's life isn't it? Things change, you just got to accept that and move on no matter what.
Been reading Who Moved My Cheese? again. Read it once long long time ago. It's a really simple read, can finish in an hour or two. But I guess there's no better time for me to read this than now. Ha. Anyway, for those who don't know or haven't heard/read it, cheese isn't cheese per se. It's a metaphor for what we want in life. Of course then Cheese to different people would be different things. Anyway there are several meaningful quotes in the story, one of which is particularly amusing yet disturbingly true - If You Do Not Change, You Can Become Extinct. Sounds quite funny really, yet it holds such simple truth.