Felt so sick when i woke up this morning. Even before breakfast, tummy was feeling really weird. So went to the bathroom. Ate breakfast. It got worse @_@ so i ended up lying down on the bed before it was time to leave for school. The lying down and rest made me feel better. Later left home to take 96. Just got on 96 and love called to ask where was i. After awhile, my tummy started acting up again @_@ 2 out of 4 papers gone, don't feel any happier or relieved whatsoever. sigh. Feels as though i'm merely waiting for an impending death sentence. Anyway, today's changing landscape was alright. As usual my time management sucks to the core. I really don't know how to manage my time properly no matter how hard i try. Am i just doing it the wrong way? >_< Biochem was my major morale-downer. Felt pretty okay about it up till i saw the paper. Jeez. I hate the way it is now. Long gone are the days where i could only NOT answer a few questions. Now it's like the exact reverse; only a few questions i can really answer. sigh. I really *HATE* the way it is now. Felt like crap after biochem paper because can't answer, felt like even crapper after changing landscape because i s/u-ed it. If i didn't, it probably would have help sustain my CAP abit, and not let it drop so much. damn. Why do i always end up doing all the stupid things!
On another note. Seems like I have been running into people these couple of days. Tuesday night hanny said he saw me at the coffeeshop at clementi (i didn't see him, too drained by the biochem liao). this morning on the way to sch, saw seong cheng. reached school came out of bathroom ran into primary school friend. at 4pm when i walked love to the bus interchange i saw feng! woot~ long time no see the mei nu le! haha~
why am i still here? God knows. Didn't go to church today >_< couldn't wake up! @_@ jeez. mom came into the room and went "Ehh?! You nv go church today ah? Why? Why nv go church and talk to God?" Dang. My immediate reaction to that was a chuckle even though my eyes were still quite close (i was semi-awake). So farnie lah. The way she said it was as though God is a person (okay, not a person per se) living and around, and resides at the church. lol~ But actually, well, we know that He's living and everywhere so it's kind of funny in that sense. it isn't as though you can talk to Him only in church lol.
Mmm...sigh. i really hate geography modules. please please please remind me NOT to ever take another geography mod. i think i really hate human geog! :( yes it's interesting, yes it's relevant to the current news but darn, i can't write! Biochem is just driving me nuts. Stupid carbo! meh~ so many -ase -ase -ase. -ase here -ase there. so many enzymes! @_@
In the afternoon, i dunno what gotten into me. I felt so so upset, abandoned and bothered by worrying thoughts such that i couldn't concentrate at all. Until i couldnt take it anymore, i finally decided to sms. To my surprise, love called soon after and we had a short chat. Really felt much better after! Thanks love ^_^
okay, that was very lame. -_-" sigh~ super bored. suddenly i seemed to have lost direction in life. totally NOT interested in every aspect of my life right now. er...maybe not EVERY. family, SO, friends, health and God are still where i would want to invest my time on. all the rest is just *yawns* yes yes, now is not the time to be thinking of these kind of things. but i just can't help it. consecutively 3 funeral wakes at my void deck, possibly 'cause of the high proportion of elderly folks living in my block but still, at least i hope they were happy with their lives.
oh, and eh, maybe i shouldn't be saying this but recently someone told me a piece of news which totally made me feel so upset for the girlfriend - the victim who got cheated upon but is still in the dark about the whole thing. Besides that, it totally proved that what love said about this person was right in the first place, and jeez, it just made my impression of the person get from neutral to nothing. yep, it IS really that bad. and even though the person shared it with me, you could say he repented in some sense but eh i'm no priest and am about as forgiving as the average person. i told him i'll pray for him but i have yet to do so. seriously, i can't even find it in myself to forgive him for what he had done, how am i supposed to pray for him? besides, i think despite what he says about feeling sad for his gf, i doubt he's doing anything to try to make things work and hardly feeling any sense of regret even. mmm. maybe on 2nd thought, should pray for the gf instead. lol~ i am mean >:(
went for a concert in the afternoon at esplanade by Mus’Art Wind Orchestra. It was not bad, could have been better though :X there were so many kiddies and babies there ('cos there were families) so it was rather noisy.
feeling very crappy now. i kind of regret my decision made on friday. >_< haiz. and just awhile ago, mom said she quite surprised by my decision. aiyo. -_-" really need to pray hard.
i woke up late this morning. my mom literally SCREAMED at me to wake up. the doc's appt was at 12; at 11am i was still in bed -_-" And yes, it's my fault. I was supposed to go early in the morning with her to chinatown for breakfast but because i couldn't wake up, i made her skip breakfast. She then started her long nag/lecture/whatever you want to call it. Even before i climbed out of bed, she started losing her temper, scold scold scold. I went to brush my teeth, STILL scolding. Dragged my feet back into my room to change, CONTINUE scolding. Wth la! ZZZ. I had half to mind to tell her ENOUGH! and ask her to just drop it but didn't have the energy to and also, i know that if i did that it'll just make things worse =\ So i just let her do all the temper-flaring she wanted, while i just 'filtered' everything off. Seriously, not that i wanted to, but while i was brushing my teeth she was yelling something in the room, which i honestly couldn't make out the words o.O Whatever la! When i was changing she left the house and banged the door (typical of her when she's mad). Then i packed my stuff and was about to leave house when she came back like 15minutes later, with a chicken and mushroom bun for me. Wasn't really expecting it, and seriously didn't want to eat it but i finished it anyway, VERY SLOWLY of course.
So it is set. 15th May. 8.30am. Felt very upset for some reason. Can't explain why. Love told me to pray for guidance from God yesterday, but it totally slipped my mind >_< And today, while waiting, mom asked me a question which totally threw me off-guard. "Did you ask God for guidance?" I hesitated and sheepishly replied a "no". I mean, aiyo. how to answer such a question? But guess what. Her response to my reply was even more surprising. "HUH!? WHY YOU DIDN'T?" I went Huh!? o.O what? Then she went on to say how come i didn't, that i really should. then the all too familiar phrase "God works in mysterious ways" popped into the convo. And then she went on to tell me something which totally stunned me even more. However, i then threw her a question which i have asked her a zillion times but she just keeps avoiding it. "Why are you not a Christian then?" *no answer* jeez!
Had lunch at 3pm. :X went to hong lim market. No more crayfish ho fun le T_T *SOBS* sold out liao. Had cha kway teow and kidney mee sua with ba kut teh =D which reminds me of something chun said last sunday. "Everytime i eat ba kut teh, i wonder why it's called that. I only see the ba kut but where's the teh?!" LOL! Actually it's cos last time it's always served with tea. And i realised the stall is called Morning Ba Kut Teh O_O! Mom says it's cos last time the stall starts selling the ba kut teh as early as 5am in the mornings and only opens in the mornings! That time still by the road side~ Wow. She says young that time she and my aunt woke up at 5.30am to go eat the ba kut teh from this stall, by the roadside. PENGZ! That's like how many decades ago!!!! After that, went to the famous dessert stall at cheenatown. U won't guess what i had! We ordered 2 bowls, both my UNlikely choices of desserts~ Almond paste and Gui Lin Gao. O_O!
Took 143 down to love's place. Watched abit of the 80's and 90's cartoon flashback on youtube! (click on numbers to the links) HAha! Really pure nostalgia. i realised i cant remember titles of the 80s cartoons very well -_-" except my absolute favourites like transformers, teenage mutant ninja turtles, ghostbusters, my little pony. quite sad that carebears wasn't featured in the video :( "Do the carebears countdown 5..4..3..2..1" And where's the SMURFS?! ...The 90s cartoons however were a different case! I'm good at guessing the titles! Even the thrashy ones! LOL~ But really, gotta love the cartoons that we grown up on. hehe!
whipped up another hearty meal and outdone ourselves yet again...lol! the down side is...i'm gonna be so FAT if i continue like this :(
butter rice (garlic, onions, raisins - own recipe) HA!
...with corn and carrot pork rib soup
...and the star: Roast Chicken! (darn, the chicken was so damn fat -_-")
equals....
TADA!!!
Roast chicken with butter rice and boiled veggies~ Nice anot? LOL :P
i think i really need to get nicer looking plates -_-" the food starting to look damn good but the plates all look so CMI. haha~ anyway it was one hella messy meal because the preparation of the chicken was just insane! both of us were like 2 nubs trying to handle and prepare 1 chicken, totally clueless as to how to go about doing it so just trial and error. DAMN happy when it turned out great :D meh~ but really ah...damn happy sia!!! My mom came back and as usual i presented her with the food. she went like "WAHHHHH VERY NICE!" WoOT! and today she finished the whole thing damn fast! WhOoSh! *proud* hehe. and she says everytime when she gets back on tues n thurs have such nice supper, will make her fat~ haha! nvm lah, she so slim -_-" and i think she wants us to cook on weekends liao..keep saying she go buy the ingredients then we cook. dots....NOoOOooooo~~ If she's gonna stop cooking, i'm gonna murder love :X
Two videos which in my opinion are nice and cute, in a sad kind of way. The kiwi one is more inspirational and touching, the pony one is nice too, but more like dark humor. i find it alittle disturbing tho. Click Pony and Kiwi!.
keke. today's dinner! (by far the most ambitious we've attempted and guess what, it was just absolutely wonderful :D )
To start...
Escargot! (yep, snails - French style~ and that small metal thingy is a n escargot fork :P)
Blanched xiao bai cai with sauce and buttered sweet corn ^_^ (Chinese cuisine)
Main course - Aglio olio~ (Italian) WooHOO! damn nice :D~
And for dessert
TADA! Chocolate brownie with Ben's & Jerrys icecream!
Fantastic dinner! Only....the escargot could have been better. dun really know how to cook it yet, it's lacking some sauce. =\ and hor...we forgot to add salt to the pasta >_< got carried away with cooking didn't add salt! LOL! so we added it later. hehe but it still tasted great :D 'sinful' dinner sia. lol :X as usual, mom got to sample everything haha~ she loves the pasta and icecream. meh. the icecream of course good la! lol~
i woke up at comparatively on time for church service this morning. walked to the 282 bus-stop. waited like 10mins for the bus. went it finally came, i got onto the bus, reached into my left jean pocket. OH SHUCKS. where was my ezlink!? i must have forgotten to bring or left it in the other jean pocket. Nvm, check the wallet, gt spare ezlink. took that ezlink, scanned it. crap! no money @_@~ checked wallet, to my horror of horrors - NOT EVEN A SINGLE COIN IN MY WALLET. Only notes. i panicked and turned to the bus driver uncle "Uncle, can u let me off?" Uncle replied "Nvm, you just sit ba." I murmured a thanks, the bus started to move off and i proceeded to the center of the bus. i know uncle's intentions were good but i really wanted to get off T_T so that i can go home and take my ezlink! 'cause even if i took 282, got to west coast, i still need to change bus to get to church!!!! Really panic like siao. I wanted to sms love for help, but then i remembered he was doing back up singing for service today. Dang. Sms-ed chun instead. Luckily, chun replied almost immediately and asked me to cab down to church AND also, lucky i had money on me. or else really stuck at ginza area @_@ Really thank God for both! I got on a cab and chun called to check if i was okay. when i got to the church entrance, chun was already waiting for me there. heng the cab fare not very ex ~_~
today's service was not bad, kinda like the guest speaker's message. i guess in a way, after friday, and saturday's chatting with ant and today's msg, i'd say im more calm and clear about where im headed to already.
after church, we brought chun to amoy street hawker centre. he said he nv eat lor mee before O_O so okay lor, brought him to go eat the very famous and very nice lor mee! :D love ate the beef noodle which i felt was really nice too. we also ordered the very nice oyster cake and pork roll. woot! after which both the guys ordered the famous ginger tea. i think chun was clearly very happy after the hearty meal - for 2 consecutive weeks we brought him to eat nice and yummy lunch and made him very happy! lol~
There's this group, called Monkey Majik. Their songs are really quite nice :) Absolutely love Picture perfect! The group comprises of 4 guys - 2 canadians and 2 japanese. So their songs are usually a 'fusion' of jap and english. nice mix!
Picture Perfect by Monkey Majik + m-flo
All the time that you were standing by my side
She's that picture perfect kind
I can't believe I was so blind
Do you remember that time
You know I stepped across that line
I made you cry and that's my crime
I wish that I could just rewind
It's the evening, and you've been complaining
About our situation and all my deceiving
I know that everything is going slow,
and if you want to feel better
I can tell you that it's gonna be great,
Yeah it's gonna be good
Oh! But I would be lying to you.
But these days, I'm changing,
Meeting new faces,
Now how am I supposed to be?
My feelings for you seem to be changing,
Looking back don't look back on me
All the time that you were standing by my side
She's that picture perfect kind
I can't believe I was so blind
Do you remember that time
You know I stepped across that line
I made you cry and that's my crime
I wish that I could just rewind
Inakute mo ii I wanted to be free
Inaku natte mo I wanted her to leave
It's kind of hard to see...when the world tunnel-visioned me
Motometa ai no katachi
They say believe in what you can't see
Demo mawari no candy ga sweet de hard to think
Atama de wa comprehend shite mo koudou ni utsusen
My eyes on the ritsuku, the truth's here listen
Chase shite mo chase shite mo things keep fleeting
Hen na yume miteta I must have been sleeping
Tooku samayou mae ni chikaku wo seek it
Yoku mite mireba kokoro ni wa beacon
of light ayamashite, sagashiteta thing's here
Omotta yori near, close to your hemisphere
Ima de wa clear 20/20 cuz I'mma share
Subete and I don't care if they think I'm weird
There there nobody thinks you're weird.
Ya see, I've been through it all before,
and the same thing happened to me
Ki ni shinai "wounds heal with time"
But in the meanwhite...
I'll show you what I mean.
Let's think of it another way.
Everything we do and say defines who we are,
As we live out each day.
What we did was wrong at the time,
But it helps us go back and rewind,
It's a mistake but it ain't no crime,
Kasanari au no sa taumari sore ga ai
I said goodbye
I didn't know that it would all turn out this way
But now I know I realise
and I can learn from my mistakes
27minutes more. Happy 7th month anni!!!! ^_^ love you baby~
just got back home not too long. thank you love for sending me home :) was at the special service at church in the evening. the service was really different from the usual sunday services. it's the first time that i've been to church on a good friday although i know, different churches 'celebrate different, so to speak. but anyway, the message was clear. i kind of expected it would be something like this but i didn't know how it would turn out. i guess it did hit a raw nerve. and i had difficulty expressing whatever was racing through my head after the service. when the 3 of us (love, chun and me) had dinner at carl's - vivo, chun asked me how did i find the service. i literally just stared back at him for awhile, tried in all means and ways to avoid his question, desperately searching in my head, for the words to say. again i posed questions to chun, which he always had the answers and sound explanations for them. the rest of my questions, i had already asked love before and he too had answered them. now comes the time where i almost have little or no more skeptical questions left and possibly i'm even able to answer some of them myself. what now, then? i still can't find the reason that's stopping me. the boy might be right, it's the pride. or is it? i'll have to do some soul searching in order to find that answer.....
Mmm. feeling kind of lazy. sianz! watched 300 yesterday~ wow. like wad cheeseng said, the 300 spartans look really damn fit ar! haiyo! washboard abs! woOt! anyway the show was rather...bloody. haha. the blood spurting everywhere. @_@ like a blood bath! though still a far cry from the bloodiness and gore of apocalypto. Plot was typical, but overall the show was nice :)
There's this really cute video on youtube which love gave me the link to just the other night. Super cute! 2 Otters holding hands here. Really awwwww.... :P
my ulcer HURTS like hell! T_T but that didn't deter me from having one of our cooking sessions today. hehe.
And today's dinner special menu is(was)....
Beef Steak! (with mashed potatoes & sauteed mushrooms)
soup
bacon bits to go with the mashed potatoes
alright. i know it looks like a tad too mushroomy and like everything also covered in brown sauce. hehe. but it tasted nice okay! :P (seriously, it would have been nicer without the DAMN ulcer! GRR!) Anyway the beef was nice (thankfully, after what it cost us :X) though at first abit too raw :X 'cause both of us don't really know how to cook beef, it's the first attempt at cooking beef lah! in the end we threw it back into the oven and came out just the way we like it. heh. The mashed potatoes rocks! Damn nice wor~ Pat on the back for love, who added just the perfect amount of butter and cream :D eh, the photos would have looked nicer if i didn't have such cheena-looking plates and bowls. zZz. well well, quite a hefty cost to prepare this meal though, by far the most we spent i would suppose.
Finished the second disk of Apocalypto during lunch and watched Blood diamond during dinner. whoa. Overall, both shows were very nice, imo. Though i found that apocalypto's ending wasn't exactly an ending, and that the show is TOTALLY NOT SUITABLE to watch during lunch (too gory) it was still nice.
the ulcer at the left side of my mouth has grown in size. is so darn huge now! :((( and it has made my left cheek swollen. -_-lll i have difficulty opening my mouth wide and even speaking is a chore. eating has also become extremely excruciating. sigh. i think it's due to the heatyness and late nights taking their toll on me :/
A seemingly simple question consisting of a mere three words. But, how many of us can truly answer it with a confident 'yes'? Not many I would suppose. Others would probably start to question - What is happiness?
When you're at the age of 4 or 5 years old, you'd probably define happiness as being able to catch your favorite cartoon on television, being able to eat loads of ice cream or your parents buying you a gift or toy that you had wanted very badly. A couple of years down the road, what made you happy then and now are possibly very different things. You're probably in secondary school and having a group of close friends that generally care and understand you, being 'accepted' by your peers, doing well in your studies would probably be some of the things that make you happy. As time flies (like it always does), we age. Things and situations change. So does our definition of happiness. Hence, to most of us, happiness is an emotional state of being content, experiencing pleasure and joy. Happiness is also highly subjective, varying from person to person. Another feature of our so-called happiness is that it is transient; it comes and varnishes very quickly. The point that I'm trying to drive at is that although it seems as though what constitutes to our happiness is very subjective and constantly changing, one thing that remains unchanged is our pursuit towards attaining happiness itself.
Aristotle proposed that happiness is the ultimate goal of mankind. According to him, happiness is not as what most of us perceive it to be. Happiness is NOT about feeling good, nor is it about experiencing pleasure and joy. Rather, it is the overall quality of one's ENTIRE life; something that makes our lives wonderful as a whole. He also suggested that young people in general can't be happy. Stunning? Yes, but looking at that statement from Aristotle's perspective, it is entirely 100% logical. Young people have just 'started' to live their lives, still having a large part of their lives left untouched to experience life itself, how can they possibly claim to be happy? On the other hand, an old man who's living out his remaining days on this earth, can look back and reflect upon his entire life experiences and truly say that yes, his life is good and he is happy.
Hence, the question of 'are you happy' is actually somewhat simplistic to begin with and yet hard to answer. 'Cause the majority of us cannot really answer it since happiness is not something that is achievable at this very moment. Each day, our actions and their consequences, they contribute towards our eventual goal of happiness. For now, all of us can only be content with the pursuit of it. So next time when someone asks you 'are you happy?', you may not be so hesitant to reply 'It's hard to tell now, but many years down the road, I know I'll be :)'
aiyah uber wols but anyway...
These are the rules: Each player of this game starts out by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 peoples to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog!