...once again. now how do i break it to you, my dear friend? it's already so hard to even mention, for fear of cascading panic and concern. and is there also pride standing in the way? possibly alittle. but i would say pride is really only a super small extend P value < 0.001. but i still hope you'll understand. i'll be fine.
Some random question that have gotten me thinking lately while reading the purpose driven life. When things go well, you thank God, because you can see the blessings that he has sent you, you keep your faith strong in him. What happens when really tough circumstances appear and things just seem to go from bad to worse, how then do you still keep the faith going strong, when it seems as though life is about to engulf you and leave nothing behind......
If there's any expression that i can well portray now that would be @_@. 'Cause that's exactly how i feel. Sick!
Today's sermon message was about Act of Love. Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages was mentioned. Mm, feel like going to read that book, haha! Anyway the 5 languages are 1) Acts of Service, 2) Words of Affirmation, 3) Physical Touch, 4) Gift Giving and 5) Quality time. Then i recalled (actually i didn't, but bubu reminded me) that some time back, we both did a quiz to find out our love language. Bubu remembered my love languages but i could only remember 1 of his :X Now that i went back to search the chat logs, i finally remember le! lol~ Bubu's love languages are 3 & 5! Mine is 5 and 1,2 and 3 are tied at 2nd place. Wow. Seems like quite complicated huh. lol~ Not so easy to please me. Something which i remember, and found it totally relevant - Knowing the love languages of your other half is simple but trying to speak that language is far from easy. For example if your other half is the 'strong silent type' and your primary love language is 'words of affirmation' then it's really gonna take ALOT of effort for both of you. So true! Thank goodness bubu's primary love language isn't 2. 'Cause well, trying to get a compliment/praise from me can really take ages, because i will only say it when i truly mean it OR i'll just remember it in my heart but i won't express it. In summary, it was the basic 3 Rs. Remember - remember the good & happy moments, Repent - Forgive and get over the tough times and Redo - Repeat the 1st 2 steps.
Oh, I finally went to cut my hair. Now it's so short. T_T Not even past chin level. Sad sad. And i dun tink the person did a good job. At some angles, it look like my hair got bitten off by a dog. =\ But oh well, what to do. I was really darn bored of my long hair already. Losing alot of precious hair because of it. But ah, i really look like the secondary school me now. >_< Bubu says he feel like he's dating an underaged kiddo. WHAT THE!? Maybe i need to wear a cap. Yes, i think a cap might do the trick. hOho.
Sometimes, I seriously suspect I have STML - Short Term Memory Loss. I can't believe how fast i forget things that came across my mind just a mere couple of hours ago.
I was just telling love how sometimes people can be so wrapped up in their own daily lives, consumed by their own problems such that they feel that if they can't get pass the current situation/obstacle, it's almost like the end of the world to them. For example, a student fretting about not achieving his/her desired CAP score or a working adult, worrying about how he/she is going to impress his/her boss in an upcoming presentation to determine his/her promotion/pay rise. These people fail to take a step back and ponder that somewhere on the other side of the globe, some other people could actually be living from hand to mouth, barely making ends meet, fleeing for their lives, trying with all their will and might just so they could survive till the end of the day. When you compare these 2 groups of people, it makes the problems of the first group of people seem so trivial and insignificant.
And then when I got home, I just totally forgot what I said and meant earlier. The problems weighed down on me and upset me once again. Threw me into a state of despondency and despair. Then I told love how wonderful it would be if I could just go to bed and just not wake up the next day. That would probably make the problems go away. (Jeez, even typing the words out now makes it sound so silly and just plain selfish. Pure escapism.) But then I soon felt that 'Crap, that's not gonna happen.' Tomorrow the sun will still shine, the birds will still chirp, the earth will still revolve and I'll wake up thinking 'Damn, I'm still alive!' So I should just get my act together and make something happen. Do something and hope that things will get better. Aye, but that ain't good enough. It's also about knowing and believing that things WILL get better, you'll overcome the odds and not let the matter swallow you up.
So yes, I believe in J.C. (Hehe =)
I believe I can get through this
And I will.
really can't it anymore. i need for this phase to hurry up and pass. so that i can move on! otherwise, i'll be stuck here, miserable both emotionally, physically and mentally. my health sucks now, making my mood even worse -_-" jeez. i made a promise with myself and God that after this, there'll be a brand new, better me.
on another note, yesterday's sermon was really an interesting one. it was already the 5th week(?) into the marriage series and thus yesterday's topic was about 'Good sex'. Rated PG - Pure & Good. haha! the way the pastor gave the message, despite it being one of the hardest, most awkward messages ever, was just fantastic. Didn't know that there were actually biblical references that actually 'encouraged' love making amongst married spouses/couples. i always thought/felt it was kind of along the lines of forbidden/under the table kind of topic. But on the contrary, it was really otherwise. However, it only applies to the married people okay! God still judges the sexually immoral people. I think this verse is particularly relevant and makes alot of sense.
1 Corinthians 7
4: For the wife does not rule over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not rule over his own body, but the wife does.
Mm..was looking thru when i found this as well..
12: To the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13: If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14: For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is they are holy. 15: But if the unbelieving partner desires to separate, let it be so; in such a case the brother or sister is not bound. For God has called us to peace.
aiyah. getting late le. i need to go off. lemme end off with a quote i heard being mentioned yesterday and really like =)
Woman was created from the rib of man.
She was not made from a part of his head to top him,
nor was she made from his feet to be trampled on.
She was created out of his side to equal him,
under his arm to be protected by him
and near his heart to be loved.
=(
*sniff* *cough* =( sickie. boooOoo. haiz. throat feels like a desert =\ nose feels runny. T_T
first day of school. barely survived 10am-6pm @_@ i really utterly dislike the lsm2101 lecturer. Zz. yes, maybe i'm just a tad harsh against 'old people' but JEEZ. C'mon man! Monotone-speaking lecturers drive me INSANE! What's worse. She doesn't seem to be out of breath speaking for 1 FULL hour without any jokes, any pauses, any gasp for air even? O_O! wth, urgh! She speaks like she's reciting from a speech paper. Non-stop reading. You speak too fast, Mdm! hai. Eitherway, me needs to adjust!!!!
Can i just be evil and ignore people, because i'm feeling so sick, lousy and restless? =(
urgh! gt sorethroat T_T pain! think it's giving me a slight fever too. sigh. must have been the kfc today. sob sob. tml is the first day of school (finally!) and a long day too. yawn. hope i can get by without feeling too drained. throat really hurts though. =( mmm, looking back, maybe i really should have found some work during the 3 mths. then i won't feel so poor now, read: humble house less than a mth @_@! and maybe i wouldn't have gotten so moody, bored etc or maybe...but oh well, no use saying all these 'maybes'. what's the point right? like maybe if adam and eve knew better they wouldn't have eaten the apple from the tree of knowledge? maybe if adam had stepped up and told eve not to eat the apple, man probably won't have sinned already. or or...maybe if romeo knew juliet didn't actually die he wouldn't have drank poison first. all is just pointless now! -_-"
aye, almost 12. dunno who sms me. or my phone's acting siao, giving off alot of useless radiation =\ oh. i feel like cutting hebe's hairstyle. dunno will suit me anot though. gee, this entry sounds so bimbo tic and senseless. i can't believe i rattled 2 paras without even saying what i originally had in mind. lol. oh well, i just better end here.
i feel like crap. frustrated, angry, upset. school starts on tuesday. dread. stupid printer refuses to work properly. wth. DAMNIT.
i feel really horrible. Sick! Feverish. Urgh. And i can't seem to control my temper and frustration. It's really rubbing off onto people already. I think im going to have many lines on my forehead after this, from all the frowning that i've been doing lately. Grr. Really need to hand it to my mom and bubu, for tolerating my nonsense, my constant sulks, frowns, irritation and frustration and still showering me with the love that would melt my anger and frustration. of course, most definitely, there's also God. Thankful to him for loving the world, with all its sinners and loving an imperfect person like myself, perfectly.
Happy Birthday Singapore~ And Happy 11mth Anniversary to Us~ ^_^
which means ~1mth or less to save the $$! lol.
Okay, not really a day i guess. considering that yesterday (sat) i also went to suntec (WCG 2007) to catch the dota match between the pinoys and m'sians. saw quite a few people i know on the way there and yes, they were all guys. when i reached the convention hall, it was literally geeks paradise. SO MANY GAMERS AND GEEKS. Oops. So i guess that makes my man, his friend and me geeks too huh? Mostly guys, with a handful of girlfriends, cosplayers and models being girls. Anyway it was real fun to watch i must say. Almost like watching soccer. haha! Cos like soccer, when you see the striker approaching the goalpost, you hear people shouting/cheering 'GO, GOAL!' but in this case, when you see heroes clash, people will go 'KILL!' or 'DIE!' or '[insert hero skill]!' then when a hero dies, they will be clapping and cheering. haha!
Anyway, today after service we went to suntec for 4pm dota finals china vs m'sians. when we got there, i noticed alot of xiao mei meis wearing JJ's fan club tee. then it dawned on me. 'oMg. don't tell me JJ is gonna be here later.' i told bubu and he went to ask the xiao mei mei sitting infront of us. And true enough, JJ was gonna come later. ALRIGHT MAN! What a bonus xD LOL! Ya and anyway, bcos of that i got 2 tracks of his new album song playing in my head right now. haha~ He (JJ) teamed up with 4 SP ppl vs TP team to DOTA! But poor JJ's QOP gt pwned by a Zeus from TP. lol~ Eh, but the prize for the winners was fantastic lor! Samsung LCD monitor leh! OMG! It looks slightly smaller than my TV set nia. KNS. SO NICE! I oso want :( Oh ya, before that there was a mini challenge. some guitar game. forgot the name liao. it's like DDR but guitar de. then the finalists was a girl and guy, competing for the prize. Guess who got trashed xD wahahahahaha! the girl totally left the competition biting the dust. woohoo! =p
Oh, anyway, China - the hot favourites won the finals, which was expected. Their lineup (Bristleback, Sand King, Warlock, Zeus and Silencer) was good, team play was good. Very cautious play though. And they like to farm than push =\ And their farming was gay. So...yeah la, kind of expected. hoho. The Malaysians (Viper, Queen of Pain, Venomancer, Nerubian Assassin and Rogue Knight) weren't doing very well though they tried to push alot and killed quite a few bit in early game. I think the chinese were just too good already. lol. i think we all know how 'crazy' the chinese gamers are anyway :X
Aww. sucks la. 1 more week before school reopens. I still have one more module pending! zzz. having mixed feelings toward school reopening. Looking forward yet dreading it as well. =\ hard to be contented. lol. Am gonna chiong finish my books before school reopens! I finally finished taming the tiger. though i skipped chap 1-7. :X becos it was SO SO boring and dry. talking abt how he became a kungfu master and what not. i skipped directly to how he landed up in prison and how he came to know Christ. After that, i couldn't put the book down. lol~ I guess, like love said, i kind of can relate alittle and it does answer some of my questions. the book made me do quite a fair bit of thinking and reflection =)
"To err is human, to forgive divine..." was today's sermon message. Coincidental enough, the person whom i had hope to gain forgiveness from and basically just to see since it's been a really long time since i met her....well, i bumped into her today at suntec. The encounter was brief. But nevertheless, i'm just glad that i finally ran into her.
说你爱我 [*click for MV*]
演唱：S.H.E
下着雨让尘气稀释回忆
我靠着你不出声音
看着你看着斑驳的甜蜜
爱你困住你也困住我自己
我那躲也躲不掉的微妙伤口
隐隐作痛
你那戒也戒不掉的甜蜜借口
也让我精神腐朽
说你爱我变成一种问候
不如趁早放手
把爱坠落让满地鲜红
说你爱我变成一种折磨
不用陪我走到最后
我承担不起你的承诺
下着雨让尘气稀释回忆
我靠着你不出声音
看着你看着斑驳的甜蜜
爱你困住你也困住我自己
我那躲也躲不掉的微妙伤口
隐隐作痛
你那戒也戒不掉的甜蜜借口
也让我精神腐朽
说你爱我变成一种问候
不如趁早放手
把爱坠落让满地鲜红
说你爱我变成一种折磨
不用陪我走到最后
我承担不起你的承诺
说你爱我变成一种问候
不如趁早放手
把爱坠落让满地鲜红
说你爱我变成一种折磨
不用陪我走到最后
我承担不起你的承诺
说你爱我变成一种问候
不如趁早放手
把爱坠落让满地鲜红
说你爱我变成一种折磨
不用陪我走到最后
我承担不起你的承诺