whoa. *blows the dust & cobwebs of this blog* time for a revival of this dead and dusty blog! well..what have i been up to? been kinda busy, hardly ever online at home. can't say the same for other times :x hoho. anyway, let's see. the previous update was like end of june. so what's up for me in july. it's already the 3rd week of july.
like i've said before, been busy with work and friends. caught a couple of nice movies. went to pastor's house for lunch on the 6th. there were like a total of 4 couples there, the youngest being 1 year younger than me. the rest were working or in the final year of uni. anticipated that it was going to be stressful! and well, it was rather awkward at first >_< eek. but in the end i guess everything turned out fine. in fact, it was kinda nice.
then there was love's birthday. went to celebrate it with his family. it turned out pretty okay too. cos i initially worried myself sick, thinking that maybe his parents might get upset or would mind me being there and what not. but i guess it was unnecessary stress after all. 'cos like what lurfu said, "what's the worse that can happen? it's not like they're going to eat you up. you'll still be here." true. but it still hurts that someone doesn't respond to you like you expect them to. i guess there's always a reason behind how things work. your take on a matter almost doesn't always means that's how it is. more often than not, there's a hidden reason behind it all, if one bothers to go think about it further and look at the matter in another viewpoint, from another angle. and when i finally did find out the reason duck's mom was acting like that, it cleared everything up. however it also became another form of worry -_-" because duck said i was turning more and more to be like his mom in terms of character. so introverted such that one becomes very guarded against everyone. ending up with so much negativity in everything and anything. all the negative thoughts just propagate non-stop. (reminds me of noise in twewy)
friday i went to meet ling at holland v swensens after dinner. was dead tired but i still dragged my sleepy and lazy body there lol. the girl had asked me out several times this week but i always didn't had the time 'cause i already made plans. i'm glad i made the trip there too. managed to catch up with her and find out how she was. we talked for very very long. and i mean very. lol. started at 10pm, we left swensens at 12+ almost 1. took a cab back to our place. EEK! it was 7 bucks! bloody hell. and the stupid irritating taxi uncle was like saying "aiyah your money very hard to earn ah!" bloody hell. freaking less than 15mins drive earn 7 bucks still not good money? i don't normally talk to taxi uncles but this uncle was just such a moronic idiot, i couldn't help but respond sarcastically. he still didn't get the hint to shut up and drive though. i guess i did waste my energy speaking to him. after we reached our carpark, me and ling still continued to talk. till 3am+. ha~ am glad it was a time well spent.
and today...well. i thought the day started off fine. but then after service, without realising it, i unloaded an arsenal full of negativity onto love. all the way till when we were on the bus on the way home. in the end, it got him pissed and so was i. i wanted to just sulk and ignore him for the whole journey. but i guess we both felt it was pointless to get angry and ignore each other. doesn't in any way help the situation. and so we talked it over almost immediately. Had a long and great talk all the way till reach right outside my house, we still stood there talking about being positive and thinking positive. I guess the fallen world seems so hopeless, it's just hard to NOT get depressed. The bottomline was to look at things positively, looking for that next positive thing that comes around, instead of going around like a radar, looking out for every bit of negativity. inevitably that negativity radar becomes more of a negativity magnet. Negativity just attracts even more negativity. Then you fall...into the bottomless pit of depression. But then i was telling love, it seems that being positive sometimes comes across as being 自我安慰 and might even be alittle self-delusional? Maybe. At least it helps us move on in life and not to continue brooding about things that will just tie us down and hinder our self-growth.
gosh. i turned this blog entry into an essay. -_-" and it's 11.20pm already! argh. got work tomorrow. though i must say, it ain't all that bad. with God's blessings, work has been okay so far. anyway, i better end off with some reminders for myself. heh :P