just got back home not too long. thank you love for sending me home :) was at the special service at church in the evening. the service was really different from the usual sunday services. it's the first time that i've been to church on a good friday although i know, different churches 'celebrate different, so to speak. but anyway, the message was clear. i kind of expected it would be something like this but i didn't know how it would turn out. i guess it did hit a raw nerve. and i had difficulty expressing whatever was racing through my head after the service. when the 3 of us (love, chun and me) had dinner at carl's - vivo, chun asked me how did i find the service. i literally just stared back at him for awhile, tried in all means and ways to avoid his question, desperately searching in my head, for the words to say. again i posed questions to chun, which he always had the answers and sound explanations for them. the rest of my questions, i had already asked love before and he too had answered them. now comes the time where i almost have little or no more skeptical questions left and possibly i'm even able to answer some of them myself. what now, then? i still can't find the reason that's stopping me. the boy might be right, it's the pride. or is it? i'll have to do some soul searching in order to find that answer.....