almost at the end of week 5. 10 more weeks to go. haiz. i really dun bother keep track of days (weekends) anymore, seriously. since i work 7 days a week, wads the freaking point. no difference. only paying attention how to fully make use of my days. sometimes really dun feel like going out. would rather rest at home and do nothing. just rest at home oso happy. sigh.
today, the lab housekeeping ppl was asking us abt wad we were going to do after graduation. i must say this is a question that many ppl asked me b4, but honestly and to their disappointment(?) i cant answer it properly. uh huh. i know i chose the field that im in now. but after the working experience bit, i realised i really do not like it as much as i tot i would, when i chose this path. i hate the time. i hate the thought of doing the SAME OLD THING for DONKEY YEARS and worse, might not even get any results. jason kor asked me "but u like wad u doing rite (research)?" again, dunno how to answer. -_-x i wont say i enjoy it, or that i despise it, is just that im able to do it. ability and willingness doesnt seem to go hand in hand for me in this aspect. bottomline is despite wad i feel at this point of time, i guess i shall just have to continue to walk on. no choice. i did try to walk the business path. am not suitable for it.
decided not to have the bbq after all. many wont make it cos of exams. anyway, little ppl so no point to go thru the trouble of bbq anyway. furthermore if rain = gone case. decided to separate n celebrate. so now have to headache the venues to celebrate -_-x then mom shot me a question which caught me by surprise. "then when u wanna cut ur cake?" what the?! must cut cake mah? i like dunno how many godzillion birthdays ago nv cut cake liao wor. tink the last time i cut a decent birthday cake was in primary 6. ha. that was a super memorable birthday that i'll nv forget even if i die man. was at a classmate's house for class gathering (girls only). forgot wad we did there liao. i tink watch tv, play games. then suddenly some of the girls disappear to dunno where. den gana bluff to go downstairs playground play. come back up that time, i wanna go into kitchen for glass of water, cannot sia. not allowed in -_- so grr rite? was dying of thirst but cant have even a sip of water. den after awhile suddenly eyes gana covered. tio chua at first. but when i opened my eyes, i was overwhelmed by what i saw infront of me. i did managed to prevent my tears of joy from falling into the birthday cake though. haha~ i cant remember how the cake tasted but i must say tat has got to be the best cake ever. actually, why must ppl celebrate birthday and why must cut cake? sianz. i would prefer just to have mee sua LOL!
so many things to tink abt. really dun feel like thinking abt all this now. but, the more i wanna avoid it, the more i give it more thought. am i regretting the decision i made again? or shld i have just choose not to choose. haiz. then there's also another problem, concerning friends. someone just said it in my face. made me damn unhappy. cos i dun deny it and the fact that i din do anything abt it all these years is really frustrating. haiyah. whatever. dont want to tink so much liao. time for bed. work tml. *ignore last para. i tink only i understand wad im typing abt haha~*